PEOPLE ARE NUTS IF THEY THINK THEY ARE IMPORTANT – jenny holzer
this is pretty much the opinion i have had of bloggers, tweeters, status updates and whatever else there is out there to PROMOTE myself, EXPLAIN myself, blavatar or gravatar myself. i mean is this stuff really all necessary? but here i am anyway, spilling my guts. in public…
i am treating this as a learning exercise. while i am learning computer, its teaching me about me. it came to me only yesterday. i spend nearly all my time with my computer, it’s the first thing i say hello to in the morning and when i turn it off at night its like announcing, “ok i am off to bed”. so yesterday afternoon, the sun was just beginning to go down, and i think i just suddenly longed for some “human” company. obviously, i am chatting on facebook, checking the news feed, someone is WhatsApping at the same time so i am torn – much to my agitation – between screen and phone, screen and phone, until i eventually realised i have to get with the program here. this phone, this computer, this facetime, well that is how we interact now. this piece of machine is my friend.
its funny, because i have a friend who gets on better with me when we are on the phone. when we actually see each other and have to be in each other’s physical presence we both get a little jumpy. i suppose our machines keep us safe.
my computer is filled with all sorts of things that would help explain what type of person i am. Yet, when i started this blog, i suddenly panicked – who am i, what am i trying to say, who do i want to be? the last question is quite scary for me because then you can’t really know anyone… at all. so i picked about 7 different me’s from all my photos and finally got down to the nitty-gritty with myself – hence my blavatar pic on the left. that’s me today – in charge. lets see what happens tomorrow…
the rest is apparently easy. i write stuff here, somehow it’s what you actually find interesting, then you follow me and put likes up all over my site and then i do this to someone else and then and then and then tell me, what happens after that?
in the meantime i am to keep myself entertained and educated with all my cleverness as i navigate my way through wordpress. and while this is happening i will be discovering and divulging all the bits that make up my life. so this site is really like the”back of my cupboard”. it is my treasure chest, full of little pieces of me. there’s a little bit of adventure and distant places, a bit of tragedy and heartache, growing up and a whole lot of soul-searching.
but what is life without identifying?! and amazingly in all this stuff on me we’re going find there are some pieces of you too.
my need to see me through this abstract mirror allows me much-needed reflection, i get to observe myself living. and for those of us as blissfully self-unaware as me, it does not hurt to see how we come across to others. its my compass for truth.
because you see, ultimately i always land up back in the same place at the end, and it’s always where i originally started — “i am going to make a blog of my work so people can see my pictures”. and my pictures are of things i like. i have tried to capture things that make me feel something, that make me go inwards so i can get in touch with me, the real me. stolen moments, open spaces and people who have altered my landscape in some way.
in fact i think it will become my life’s work. i am what i do.